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Clinical psychologist Dr Rebecca Schrag Hershberg, Phd and author of The Tantrum Survival Guide, says the best way of handling tantrums is to pause before your react. She says, “The way you respond to your child’s tantrum behaviour is critically important and can have a big impact on both how long a tantrum lasts and how bad it gets. The more you are able to keep your cool during your little one’s emotional outburst, the more likely it will pass relatively quickly and painlessly.”
She recommends a number of techniques to help you pause, keep calm and parent on during a tantrum. These include:
Check In With Yourself: Take a few moments to see how you are doing. Have you had a bad day? Are you tired, stressed or hungry? Then try to respond as if you were living your best life – well rested, relaxed and well-fed.
Be Present and Listen: Don’t rush in and try to fix things or distract your child. Give them the space they need to express themselves and try to understand and accept those feelings, without judgement.
Use Touch: If appropriate, rest your hand on your child’s back or hug them. This kind and loving touch can be very calming.
Practice Loving Kindness Towards Yourself: Speak to yourself, and treat yourself, as you would to a good friend in your situation.
Radically Accept Toddlerhood: Understand and accept that a 2 year old cannot manage their behaviour. Dr Hershberg says most children can only start to do this from about 3 1/2 years. It then takes many more years to master it. Use the tantrum as a learning opportunity: Afterwards, try to understand what triggered it, how you could have avoided it, and maybe even how you could have dealt with it better. This insight will be a life saver in handling tantrums in future.
Source: Dischem Benefits – Parent & Child
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